Monday, August 22, 2005

Obsidian

I cannot explain the events of last night, I can only accept that it happened.

A little bit of background first... a close friend was dabbling in astral projection with some friends in high school and was suddenly ripped back to the physical plane by her friends, stranding a small piece of herself somewhere out there. That was about seven or eight years ago and that part of her has been lost out there since then.

Thursday night, I experienced a lucid dream where I met her and we were walking around a shopping mall back in my hometown. We ended up sitting face to face, hands holding each others' forearms, with a strange man sitting next to her. (At the time, the man seemed very unimportant but in real life my friend recognizes this man... he is apparently a magickal stalker.) She says something that totally hurts and shocks me, though I cannot remember the exact words. The intense feelings generated by what she said snapped me back into full conciousness and I could not return to sleep for hours afterwards. I told my friend about the dream and she confirmed it was probably the missing part of herself and that I need to find out more next time I see "her" in the dreamscape.

The next night, I find myself unwillingly looking for her in the dreamscape again. I was too tired to conciously go searching, but apparently my subconcious decided to do it anyway. When I need to find something in the dreamscape, I have a special store that I visit because it's usually the best place to start. I remember this dream was just as vivid and lucid as the previous night and I could feel her presence, but I couldn't find her. I felt so close and was sure I would just bump into her around the next corner, or the next, or the next... but never did. I finally started getting frustrated and at that point, I woke up again. For the second night in a row, I ended up sorely lacking in sleep.

Since that first encounter on Thursday, I heard things. Small sounds from behind my left shoulder. A sigh. A whisper. A soft sobbing. Not more than a moment's length, rather infrequent, and usually easily dismissed as fatigue or background noise. Until Sunday.

I awoke on Sunday extremely tired and with a small headache. Lack of quality sleep since Thursday night was beginning to take its toll on my body and senses. The intensity of the headache grew steadily as the day wore on. Two, three, four, eventually six Excedrin later and still complete relief from the pain eluded me. I lay down about 9PM to try and get some rest, but it only came in light 20-30 minute intervals. Midnight passed and I awoke again but could not get back to sleep at all this time. I had a small snack and a drink, went outside for some air, did a few minutes worth of work on the computer, and tried to sleep again, but no luck. Tossing and turning, wide awake, it was now 3AM. The lights were off, air conditioning silent, windows closed, and the air was still and mute in my apartment. Then I heard her soft sobbing again, clear as a bell from behind my shoulder again.

Luckily my friend was next door and still wide awake. Together we came to the conclusion that on Thursday night she must have traveled back with me. We were holding arms tightly and I was suddenly ripped back just like she was before. There was no choice but to do something about it because both of our healths had been slowly depleting since that first night. A quick call of help was placed to some close pagan friends who were more than willing to come to our aid, despite it being nearly 4AM.

Once we had gotten our circle set up, myself and the part of her were in the center, with everyone else around the outside. A bundle of sage was burned to help dissolve the spiritual bonds on my arms and begin the transfer. From that moment on, I can only remember an intense spritual tug-of-war and raw emotions, both my own and those of her. Fear. Doubt. Strength. Love. I opened my eyes and felt peace and silence for the first time in days. What happened in this room last night, I cannot say for certain, but it appears that we were at least somewhat successful in our efforts.

Today for both her and myself, the air is crisper, the sky is bluer, the grass is greener. Everything has come into much clearer focus and our energies have both climbed back up to above-normal levels. It comes as a great relief to me to hear that she feels more healthy and complete than she has in a while. As an added bonus to myself, I feel that the transgressions of my past from 21 years ago, have finally been repaid and wiped clean from my soul. My insides, previously feeling disorganized and messy, now feel clean and pristine like polished obsidian.

But despite the "happy ending" that this journey seems to have, there are still questions lingering. Too many questions and not enough space to write them with all of their relevant background details. But the most important one is the man from the dream... why is he doing this? Why is he stalking her magickally? It seems no coincidence now that he appeared in the dreamscape alongside her. Darkness clouds the future. May the fates be kind and bring an answer to our questions soon.

1 Comments:

At 8/24/2005 7:36 AM, Blogger NightFox said...

wow...that's intense.*hugs*

 

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